Two of the many questions I had when contemplating returning to Nepal: "Will Nepal have me?" and "Am I even for Nepal?"
Having lived in as many countries outside as I had, I felt I could be accepted by any place and people. But will I be accepted in Nepal and by the Nepalis?
In Feb. 2013, I turned down a, international teaching job offer to follow through with my plans to return to Nepal for good, after more than two decades abroad. I had many reasons for doing so. One was to see if Nepal was still my home, and, if not, if I could make it my home.
As a primary school student, I loved the arts and was good at acting and singing, and did a lot of that. But acting was also an "out," a means to escape my own self, to become someone else, suffering as I had been from a number of personal issues.
Had I been born a different caste or in a different country, I would have probably become a performing artist as an adult.
One of the many issues I identified growing up in Nepal, which I believed would be the source of many unwarranted struggles to make something of myself, had been my severe lack of social capital. So, I worked really hard to escape from the country. Succeeding in doing so and spending most of my adult life abroad, I practically ensured I would have even less social capital when I finally returned home! #LifeEh!